“It was important for you to do what your handler wanted.” Since it was his job, it makes sense, but it seems like he let her dictate everything. “What about what you wanted to do?”
“I think your handlers were wrong to view you as a psychopath,” Avalon says, after a moment. “If you were a psychopath, others’ thoughts on what you did would mean nothing to you, and you would never have worked so hard to avoid guilt.”
"I guess so," he says, "they... they viewed themselves as above me, I think. More civilized. Because I wasn't from the Culture. They didn't know about... what I did. The Chair."
Sma had judged him just for his propensity for violence and ruthlessness.
“Do you think it could help you connect with someone, or show you that not everyone who knows will think of you as a monster?” As far as they know, he was rejected by the only other person who knows about it. They might not think of him as a monster, but being his warden is one of the reasons for that.
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“It was important for you to do what your handler wanted.” Since it was his job, it makes sense, but it seems like he let her dictate everything. “What about what you wanted to do?”
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“Would you have dropped the ship if she had told you to win?”
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“I think your handlers were wrong to view you as a psychopath,” Avalon says, after a moment. “If you were a psychopath, others’ thoughts on what you did would mean nothing to you, and you would never have worked so hard to avoid guilt.”
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Sma had judged him just for his propensity for violence and ruthlessness.
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“Does anyone on the Barge know about the Chair?”
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“Do you think it could help you connect with someone, or show you that not everyone who knows will think of you as a monster?” As far as they know, he was rejected by the only other person who knows about it. They might not think of him as a monster, but being his warden is one of the reasons for that.
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“Nothing changed about how I see you when I read your file,” they say. “It could go well. It can wait until you feel ready, though.”
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“I think Tendi would be accepting.” She may not know about their murders, but she was accepting of their emotions.
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“Let me know how it goes, if you decide to do it.”
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